Berlin Wail

The plan was simple:
Take the overnight train from Paris to Berlin, arriving at Berlin's Spandau station at 8am after a good sleep in a comfortable couchette. We'd meet Frauke there, have breakfast and a little rest, then be ready to explore the city.
Plan Failure #1: The overnight train to Berlin failed and was replaced with a bus. "And this bus will take us to Berlin?" I asked. "No," I was told, "The bus will take you to the border. Then you will change to a train to Berlin."
"Oh? How long will that take."
The French ticket agent shrugged. Eight hours? Ten?
Plan Failure #2: "I don't have Frauke's phone number. It's in my facebook account. Call Victorie, and tell her to go to a computer and message Frauke to tell her we'll be late."
Clement and I got on the bus together. We talked until the bus finished inching its way through Paris traffic and got on a highway. I took a sleeping pill and Clem took out a thick binder of World Bank studies on transportation economics in the developing world. The bus stopped. "We're in Germany" Clem said. "Did you sleep?" I asked. "An hour or two, what about you?" "That was fast, I couldn't have been out for more than an hour." "It's 4am." "Oh."
Germany was cold. There was snow on the ground. We were at the train station of a small city on the Rhine. "Mannheim Hauptbahnof [main station]." There was a Donor Kebab stand that was open. I bought one and a Gluhwine to wash it down with.
"So where's that direct train to Berlin?" I asked
Plan Failure #3: "There is no direct train to Berlin, not for another six hours," said the tanned German with a Hawaiian shirt, tribal necklace and flipflops. "Oh." I said, "Here, I'll show you how to get there." He took us to a ticket vending machine and printed a route taking us from Mannheim to Berlin with stops in Frankfurt and Hamburg. "Thanks," I said. Only later did I learn that officials of the Deutsche Bahn do not wear Hawaiian shirts, tribal necklaces and flipflops, especially not in December. Or maybe the sleeping pill just hadn't worn off yet.
We sleep on the train from Mannheim to Frankfurt and from Frankfurt to Hamburg, but by the time we get to Hamburg it is 8am and the train is packed with commuters. Clement and I find seats in separate cars. "Remember to get off at Spandau" I tell him. "We'll find an internet cafe and get Frauke's number from Facebook."
Plan Failure #4: I get off the train at Spandau. I look to my left. I look to my right. Clem isn't there. "Maybe I should get back on the train?" I think, when the doors close behind me and the train speeds off. Clement is not on the platform.
Plan Failure #5: When I got to France a week ago, I bought a SIM Card with 5 Euros of credit on it. To recharge it, I needed to register by sending a copy of my passport through the postal system. I sent it in the day before Christmas. It's now December 30th, and the registration hasn't gone through. The phone is now out of credit and I can't call Clement or Frauke. A text message comes from Clement telling me he's at Hauptbahnof, Berlin's central station, but I can't reply because I don't have SIM credit.  Desperate, I wander through Spandau station to the information booth.
"English?" I croak at the information desk.
"Nien"
"Internet Cafe?"
The clerk nods at a fast food restaurant. I wander in. "Internet?" I ask the pretty 20-something cashier. "Oh yes, right there. It's a Euro fifty for half an hour, two Euro for an hour."
"A half hour please."
I sit down at the computer. There's no hookup for skype. I log onto Facebook and find this message from Frauke:
Hi sam, do not know whether you got my sms: Pleas do not get off the train in Berlin-Spandau but in Berlin mainstation. Will meet you there. Frauke
I type a reply, and notice that the space key on the keyboard doesn't work.
I log onto GChat. Only one person is online-Britt, a friend of Rain's who I haven't spoken with in a least six months. But she's a resourceful person with a good telephone voice who can understand the sort of predicament I'm in. I message her:

1:46 PM
me: BRITT!
areuawake!
1:47 PM
ineedhelp
andmzkezboarddoesnthaveaspacekez
Britt: hhaah
helllo
me: hi
Britt: what's up!
me: uhaveskyperight
1:48 PM
Britt: um, maybe
me: ok#
Britt: it's my mom's comp... slightly weak connection
i can try
me: ucanlogintomyaccount
Britt: but what do you nened?
log into your skype account?
me: usernameis-s------------
passwordis-XXXXXXXXXX
iminBerlin
1:49 PM
andsplitupfrompeople
ineedutocall2peopleforme
Britt: oh no! okay one min
me: tellthemiwillmeetthemat-hauptbahnhofstation
1:50 PM
thefirstguyis'clement'
Britt: yea yea
okay
me: his#is +33XXXXXXXXXX
1:51 PM
thesecondis'frauke'
her#is+49XXXXXXXXXXX
Britt: i'm talking to clement now'
he says he is there now
me: good
good
tellhimtowaitthere
ihavehisbag
1:52 PM
Britt: relay store (magazine store)
me: perfect
tellhimicangethistexts
butnotsendthem
Britt: ooh
he just hung up
are you going to be long?
me: nvm
Britt: i can call him back
1:53 PM
me: nah,aslongasheswaitinginagoodplace
Britt: he said that magazine store he is waiting
okay
i'll call the lady now
me: awesome
imataninternetplacewithoutskzpe
andwithoutaworkingspacekez
itsbeenatoughnight
1:54 PM
thanksforhelpingme
youralifesaver
tellFrauketolookforclement
he'saskinnyfrenchman
Britt: okay hahah im calling her now
me: inacolumbiauniversitysweatshirt
1:56 PM
Britt: she said she'll be there in about 10 min
me: perfect
iwillnowtrytofindatrainthere
tellhertolookforclement
andifucouldcallclementbackandupdatehim
1:57 PM
ThanksBrittIHeartU
givemylove2Rainwhenuseeher
youRock
peace!
1:58 PM
Britt: all the best sam!
she will look for clement there where he is
me: atTheRelay
Britt: love to you too !
yea, at the relay
me: happyNewYear!
Britt: i hope your day gets better !
same to you !
me: itcantgetmuchworse

The story ends happily. Frauke finds Clement, I find Clement, then we all go buy bread and sausages for breakfast, have a little rest, then go explore Berlin.
The End.

Editor's Note-The timestamps reflect the default of my Google Time setting, which is Caucasus Standard Time, making it ~11am in Berlin and ~5am in New York City.